Oh, how I have loved

Oh, how I have loved.
I have walked hand in hand
Through the fields of passion,
Felt the softness of a lover’s lips,
Enjoyed the warmth
Of a woman’s skin
And lounged by the fire
In the midst of winter.
I have whispered
The sweetest words
And sang
The most passionate songs.
I have loved in Mexico,
Costa Rica, Belize.
I have loved
Amongst the ruins of ancient Rome
And through the bustling streets of Tokyo.
I have seen beauty,
Shared beauty,
And yet…

Love is fleeting.
We spend our lives
Trying to catch her
Only to find out
We never come close.
I have uttered those words
Too many times.
And though I meant them,
I did not understand.
What do I know
Of love?
Perhaps I have seen the world,
Observed wonders,
Explored jungles.
Perhaps I have
Shared kisses, embraces,
Beds.
And yet I am alone.
Longing still
For love’s keen touch.
Through all my chasing
I have come home empty.
So now I relinquish the chase,
For perhaps love is fleeting
Simply because we chase her.

Just some insight...

I wanted to know that thanks to you (and I mean that in the most affectionate way possible) I stayed up to the wee hours of the morning working on this, and have spend my entire day doing the same. Haha...in truth, as Kirsten told me, you are incredible. And I want very much to get to know you. I also want you to get to know me in return, and what better way than through my poetry? It is, after all, my heart exposed, perhaps much more than I intended. You should know I have never shared this much of my poetry with anyone else. So feel special Sarah! Haha. And I know, this is on the internet so anyone can see it now, but I don't mind so much anymore. As long as you are the first, as I intended. I will also continue using this blog for any poetry I happen to write, even if its terrible. Haha. So there you have it.

I dated them with the dates they were written, if I recorded the date. Before 2007, I didn't write dates, so I just started with January 1 and went from there as I came across them. I would recommend going to 2006 and starting there, making your way up to the present day. It will give you a better idea of my development I think...and take your time. There are 60 of them, and they all mean more than they say. Except for maybe one or two of them. Please feel free to comment on them, or text me about one, message, anything you want to do in response to a poem. I like feedback, and if they bring up any questions, ask. I will always answer.

I hope you enjoy this look into me :)

I hate you...

I wrote this one after a girl hurt me pretty badly...as you can see, it rather upset me. Haha. Wow, I can't believe that was so recent...it feels like years ago, I've kind of forgotten about it. But hey, things like that make good poems, right? Enjoy!


I hate you.
Every hair on your head,
Every shimmer in your eyes,
Every smile in every picture
Fuels an unquenchable flame
Inside my heart.
It wants to burn the letters
We sent to each other
For all those years,
Burn the memories
Like photographs
Pasted on the walls of my mind,
Burn every word
And every lie
As if they were each a match
Meant to start the flame
That would warm our life.

But now…
Now you have given
The fuel to the arson,
You have laid matchstick
Upon matchstick
And soaked our future
With gasoline.
Thus the flames jump
And envelop every wall,
Every crossbeam and floorboard.
The rooms are bare,
Caught in the emptiness
Of misguided hope.
But even with nothing to burn
The flames reach ever higher
And grow ever more strong
Until nothing is left
Save the smoldering ashes
On an empty foundation.
And so I am lost
In the fury of hatred.

And so it consumes me.
It fills me with anguish,
Leaving me feeling all the more empty,
Forcing me to scream into the darkness
Cursing the heavens
For the love that still lingers on.
For what is hatred
But a love lost
And not let go.
I could keep from hating you
If only I never loved you…
If only I did not love you still…

What is love

Obviously still rather hurt and upset at this time...


What is love
But a man’s chasing the wind,
A light in the darkness
No one can see.
The relief we all hope for
But never find.
She holds the hopes of humanity
In her sacred bosom
And shares that bosom
With infidelity
Lies, and misdirection.
What is love
But an adultress
Not yet caught in the act
Or skeletons
Still hidden in the closet.
Love is a devil
And we have all fallen
To her unholy eyes.

The sun rises once again on this wasteland...

I love the closing to this one. Definitely came from some hurt. Its actually a straight out narrative of what happened...figure it out? Enjoy!


The sun rises once again on this wasteland
Promising perfection, bliss.
Warmth kisses my face
As her rays pour over the mountain tops,
Overcoming the brilliance of all other stars.
With unparalleled grace
She dances across the sky
Bringing out the beauty
Of every wildflower.
And the day never seemed
So beautiful.

But the moon is high.
A silent reminder of the night
Haunting every step.
He whispers her name
And her light flickers for a moment.
Once before
They shared a dance
Brilliantly lighting the night.
At least in her eyes,
For what is night without the darkness.

As he rises,
I fear the sun must set again
To waltz once more
In this shameless display
Of ignorance.
For a light in the darkness
Only cheapens the beauty
Of the stars.

I watch as night looms...

I wrote this one a little over 3 months after breaking up with my last girlfriend...I was still healing, but it appears that I was coming to terms with it...enjoy!


I watch as night looms
Beyond the cloudy canopy,
While the light
Of an unseen sun
Fades into darkness.
I think of you,
Hoping the sky had been more gracious
When the sun set for your eyes,
And what would the sun say
If he could break through these clouds?
She looked so beautiful today,
And her eyes shone as bright as me
As I began my descent beyond the horizon.
But worry not,
I painted the most beautiful picture for her.
For you deserve the most beautiful sunset.