Not as explicitly spiritual. It seems to go through a few things...I'll just let you read it. Haha
Look at me with those beautiful eyes.
Look into me, and read my soul.
See what I am, and take me in.
Hold me close
Whisper in my ear
You are my love.
Turn your back on me tonight.
Turn your thoughts from me
Change the way you look at me
Throw me out
Kick me away
You are my revealer.
Tear apart my will to live.
Tear me down from my pedestal
Rip away my selfish aims
Leave me here
Take my life
You are my redeemer
I am nothing anymore
I am worthless here alone
My world is gone
Lift me up
Restore my soul
You are my savior
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
Monday, January 23, 2006
With hands stained red...
Another explicitly religious one...I love it. Enjoy!
With hands stained red,
I watch on as horror
Fills my eyes.
Those cries of pain
Fill my ears
Over and over again.
It was me
Who fused metal with flesh,
Who tore through ligaments,
Pierced muscle,
Tore open veins.
Every swing sprayed more blood
Across the ground.
It was me
Who spat in his face,
Who tore flesh from bone,
United a body with wood.
Sheer humiliation and disgrace
When he did nothing
But love.
Even now,
As I raise my head
To gaze at the one
I must lead to death,
A great sorrow fills my heart.
Shimmering tears
Fill my eyes.
It was me
Who led him through the streets,
Who brought him to this hill.
A sign placed.
A sentence fulfilled.
He is dying.
He looks down at me,
Right into my eyes.
Through my tears I long to say
I am sorry.
His eyes;
The pain,
The sorrow,
The suffering,
The joy.
Three words come
From his mouth.
“It is finished.”
It is finished.
I collapse where I stand.
Tears pour from my eyes.
I do not understand.
This man…
It was me
Who took his freedom,
Who took his life
Without even a greeting,
Without knowing who he was,
Why he was here,
And yet…
It is finished.
My heart feels light.
With hands stained red,
I watch on as horror
Fills my eyes.
Those cries of pain
Fill my ears
Over and over again.
It was me
Who fused metal with flesh,
Who tore through ligaments,
Pierced muscle,
Tore open veins.
Every swing sprayed more blood
Across the ground.
It was me
Who spat in his face,
Who tore flesh from bone,
United a body with wood.
Sheer humiliation and disgrace
When he did nothing
But love.
Even now,
As I raise my head
To gaze at the one
I must lead to death,
A great sorrow fills my heart.
Shimmering tears
Fill my eyes.
It was me
Who led him through the streets,
Who brought him to this hill.
A sign placed.
A sentence fulfilled.
He is dying.
He looks down at me,
Right into my eyes.
Through my tears I long to say
I am sorry.
His eyes;
The pain,
The sorrow,
The suffering,
The joy.
Three words come
From his mouth.
“It is finished.”
It is finished.
I collapse where I stand.
Tears pour from my eyes.
I do not understand.
This man…
It was me
Who took his freedom,
Who took his life
Without even a greeting,
Without knowing who he was,
Why he was here,
And yet…
It is finished.
My heart feels light.
Sunday, January 22, 2006
When I look into your eyes...
I don't know who this is about. For all I know, it wasn't about anyone in particular, I just wanted to write a little. It happens. Enjoy!
When I look into your eyes
I am taken to another world
Where you and I
Are free to dance in the rain
In the streets
In a park
Where our bodies move
To the rhythm of one song
And I feel your hand in mine.
My heart races
Yet I feel at peace.
When I look into your eyes
I am taken to another world
Where you and I
Are free to dance in the rain
In the streets
In a park
Where our bodies move
To the rhythm of one song
And I feel your hand in mine.
My heart races
Yet I feel at peace.
Saturday, January 21, 2006
Unexpected Plight
So I wrote this when my best friend had an ovarian cyst that almost killed her...freaked me out, her going to the hospital and everything in the middle of TNT. The jerk...
All seems well as she walks on down the sidewalk,
But she doesnt know the danger lurking ahead.
A silent butterfly follows in a fluttering stalk,
And as it lights upon her, she is forced to her bed.
The gentle touch of such a tiny creature,
The light brushing of its pure white wings,
Such pain has never been known to hit her,
Such anguish has never shown its sting.
But despite the fatal touch of this merciless being,
Despite its control over her very life,
She pushed through the pain without ever seeing
Pushed into her deaths gleaming knife.
Through the good and the bad, we will be with you
And no matter what happens, He will be true.
All seems well as she walks on down the sidewalk,
But she doesnt know the danger lurking ahead.
A silent butterfly follows in a fluttering stalk,
And as it lights upon her, she is forced to her bed.
The gentle touch of such a tiny creature,
The light brushing of its pure white wings,
Such pain has never been known to hit her,
Such anguish has never shown its sting.
But despite the fatal touch of this merciless being,
Despite its control over her very life,
She pushed through the pain without ever seeing
Pushed into her deaths gleaming knife.
Through the good and the bad, we will be with you
And no matter what happens, He will be true.
Friday, January 20, 2006
This next heartbeat could be my last...
This was written when someone I knew died in a car accident. I wasn't close to him, but still, you can't ignore these things...
This next heartbeat could be my last.
With the next stroke of my pen I could fall,
Crumpled to the floor.
My lungs fail with this last exhale
Just as, that one rainy morning,
He drove on the water-covered streets.
The speed overcame; he lost control of the wheel.
Tires spinning, car swerving,
Then the impact.
His life flashed before his eyes while the metal twisted
And debris flew everywhere.
And in the blink of an eye,
A mind stopped thinking,
Lungs stopped breathing,
A heart stopped beating.
For even though the bud shows promise of a beautiful rose,
It may be knocked from the bush before it fully blooms;
The harsh winds show no mercy.
And the first beautiful flowers of spring,
The early blooms breaking through the decay
May sprout only to enter upon one fateful night
Where the ghosts of winter fill the air
And a trail is left in their wake,
But the new buds of vivacity, too frail to endure,
Are frozen and destroyed in the dawn of life.
Let every beat of your heart pulse with the love,
The inexplicable love,
Of friends,
Of family,
Of God.
For the sunrise is always followed by the dusk,
And while some see the midnight sun,
Some barely see light
Before the sun is plummeted beneath the mountains.
This next heartbeat could be my last.
With the next stroke of my pen I could fall,
Crumpled to the floor.
My lungs fail with this last exhale
Just as, that one rainy morning,
He drove on the water-covered streets.
The speed overcame; he lost control of the wheel.
Tires spinning, car swerving,
Then the impact.
His life flashed before his eyes while the metal twisted
And debris flew everywhere.
And in the blink of an eye,
A mind stopped thinking,
Lungs stopped breathing,
A heart stopped beating.
For even though the bud shows promise of a beautiful rose,
It may be knocked from the bush before it fully blooms;
The harsh winds show no mercy.
And the first beautiful flowers of spring,
The early blooms breaking through the decay
May sprout only to enter upon one fateful night
Where the ghosts of winter fill the air
And a trail is left in their wake,
But the new buds of vivacity, too frail to endure,
Are frozen and destroyed in the dawn of life.
Let every beat of your heart pulse with the love,
The inexplicable love,
Of friends,
Of family,
Of God.
For the sunrise is always followed by the dusk,
And while some see the midnight sun,
Some barely see light
Before the sun is plummeted beneath the mountains.
Thursday, January 19, 2006
There was a world of despair...
A huge analogy for Christ using bunnies? Yeah, I guess it is possible...
There was a world of despair
Where the bunnies would fight,
Where nobody cared
And children cried through the night.
No rabbit cared for another,
They looked only for themselves,
They would backstab a brother
Just for more jellybeans on their shelves.
Then one day a plague came through the city,
A disease so dreadful none could leave their bed,
And it seemed to be such a great pity
That this city would soon be simply dead.
Then one bunny sent from out of this town
Started going from door to door.
He entered and said "lay down"
Then he offered them a cure.
"This epidemic is sweeping the globe,
But a great healer came to us,
He scratched his earlobe
And said 'please don't make a fuss.
There is a cure for this
But be forewarned,
It will cover the world, none will be missed,
And it will come before they are warned.
Now if you live,
You will watch them die
Unless you give
Some of your blood as I'"
With that he offered us his hand,
I knew immediately what he meant
So then and there I took my stand;
I drank his blood and went.
His blood is mine,
He shed it for me,
Now i must continue this line
So that others will see.
Life can come only through this passing along
And before you drink i must ask:
Are you willing to stand strong
Watching others die when they refuse this task?
There was a world of despair
Where the bunnies would fight,
Where nobody cared
And children cried through the night.
No rabbit cared for another,
They looked only for themselves,
They would backstab a brother
Just for more jellybeans on their shelves.
Then one day a plague came through the city,
A disease so dreadful none could leave their bed,
And it seemed to be such a great pity
That this city would soon be simply dead.
Then one bunny sent from out of this town
Started going from door to door.
He entered and said "lay down"
Then he offered them a cure.
"This epidemic is sweeping the globe,
But a great healer came to us,
He scratched his earlobe
And said 'please don't make a fuss.
There is a cure for this
But be forewarned,
It will cover the world, none will be missed,
And it will come before they are warned.
Now if you live,
You will watch them die
Unless you give
Some of your blood as I'"
With that he offered us his hand,
I knew immediately what he meant
So then and there I took my stand;
I drank his blood and went.
His blood is mine,
He shed it for me,
Now i must continue this line
So that others will see.
Life can come only through this passing along
And before you drink i must ask:
Are you willing to stand strong
Watching others die when they refuse this task?
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
There is a room...
Woah! Talk about a turning point! Totally forgot about this one...enjoy!
There is a room
Holding only a candle
In a golden candlestick.
I enter
And sit facing the flame.
It beckons with a yellow hand.
I peer into its heart
Beating with a rhythm
Unmarked by a metronome.
I reach my hand out toward this flame;
It jumps,
And softly, the flame licks my fingers
Sending a warmth across my hand.
Pulling back I stand
Moving closer to the flame.
The warmth now flows through my body.
I grasp the stand
And raise the flame to my face.
My eyes close.
I take a deep breath;
My head lifts up,
Then the flames leap
From candle to flesh
Consuming the whole.
Only a wick
For its wretched game.
Simply another fooled mind
Entranced by the shimmering warmth
Of false devotion.
There is a room
Holding only a candle
In a golden candlestick.
I enter
And sit facing the flame.
It beckons with a yellow hand.
I peer into its heart
Beating with a rhythm
Unmarked by a metronome.
I reach my hand out toward this flame;
It jumps,
And softly, the flame licks my fingers
Sending a warmth across my hand.
Pulling back I stand
Moving closer to the flame.
The warmth now flows through my body.
I grasp the stand
And raise the flame to my face.
My eyes close.
I take a deep breath;
My head lifts up,
Then the flames leap
From candle to flesh
Consuming the whole.
Only a wick
For its wretched game.
Simply another fooled mind
Entranced by the shimmering warmth
Of false devotion.
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
Sonnet form III
I just kind of liked it when I was going through my poems...enjoy!
The world is crying,
Can you hear it?
People are dying
Every minute.
Children scream for a mother
That is nowhere to be found,
Siblings search for one another,
But they’ll never hear the sound
Of familiar voices in their ears,
For this world had cut them off.
They are lost now to the years
Of unending suffering and loss.
Now you have heard all the pain,
Will you change or let remain?
The world is crying,
Can you hear it?
People are dying
Every minute.
Children scream for a mother
That is nowhere to be found,
Siblings search for one another,
But they’ll never hear the sound
Of familiar voices in their ears,
For this world had cut them off.
They are lost now to the years
Of unending suffering and loss.
Now you have heard all the pain,
Will you change or let remain?
Monday, January 16, 2006
The memories of you flutter through my mind
You have insight into this one, knowing about me and butterflies and all that ;) I rather like this one...enjoy!
The memories of you flutter through my mind
On the wings of a butterfly,
So small,
Floating subtly across the landscape.
Obscure, discreet,
Yet once that glimmer of sunlight off its wing catches my eye,
I cannot look away.
The beauty of this delicate form,
The mystery of its creation,
The magical pull of life toward this tiny creature.
I long to follow this apparition forever,
And yet…
I remember a time
When you would look at me with love in your eyes.
Those eyes,
Like stars breaking through the shroud of day
And illuminating the night,
Those eyes,
That could stare into my own
And peer into my very soul.
With every laugh,
Every smile,
They would glimmer with an unsurpassed brilliance
And whisk away all sorrow,
Pain,
And despair…
The sky grows dark
As I walk into this empty field.
An eerie calm rests upon this place
Chilling to the bone.
Dark clouds move across the sky
Blotting out the moon,
The stars…
All is lost,
Dissolved into the darkness,
And I long to feel the touch of that creature
So fragile
Yet so mighty
As it lights upon my weary soul.
I strain to see,
But eyes are blind here.
I lift my head to the dark sky
And feel a drop on my cheek,
So cooling,
So refreshing.
I unclench my fists
And turn palms skyward as the rain grows stronger.
Eyes closed, Breathe it in,
Arms spread wide,
Hear the drops on the grass.
I raise my arms to the heavens
And with a flash of lightning
My eyes open,
Seeing all that is surrounding.
Silence.
I lower my arms
And thunder rolls across the land…
I can still hear your voice
Singing in my ear.
Laughing merrily,
Lighting up the room.
But those days are long gone.
That gleam in your eye,
The warmth of your skin against mine,
The sweet, sweet sound of your voice in my ears.
If only I could see you,
Hear you,
Draw you near
Again.
The memories of you flutter through my mind
On the wings of a butterfly,
So small,
Floating subtly across the landscape.
Obscure, discreet,
Yet once that glimmer of sunlight off its wing catches my eye,
I cannot look away.
The beauty of this delicate form,
The mystery of its creation,
The magical pull of life toward this tiny creature.
I long to follow this apparition forever,
And yet…
I remember a time
When you would look at me with love in your eyes.
Those eyes,
Like stars breaking through the shroud of day
And illuminating the night,
Those eyes,
That could stare into my own
And peer into my very soul.
With every laugh,
Every smile,
They would glimmer with an unsurpassed brilliance
And whisk away all sorrow,
Pain,
And despair…
The sky grows dark
As I walk into this empty field.
An eerie calm rests upon this place
Chilling to the bone.
Dark clouds move across the sky
Blotting out the moon,
The stars…
All is lost,
Dissolved into the darkness,
And I long to feel the touch of that creature
So fragile
Yet so mighty
As it lights upon my weary soul.
I strain to see,
But eyes are blind here.
I lift my head to the dark sky
And feel a drop on my cheek,
So cooling,
So refreshing.
I unclench my fists
And turn palms skyward as the rain grows stronger.
Eyes closed, Breathe it in,
Arms spread wide,
Hear the drops on the grass.
I raise my arms to the heavens
And with a flash of lightning
My eyes open,
Seeing all that is surrounding.
Silence.
I lower my arms
And thunder rolls across the land…
I can still hear your voice
Singing in my ear.
Laughing merrily,
Lighting up the room.
But those days are long gone.
That gleam in your eye,
The warmth of your skin against mine,
The sweet, sweet sound of your voice in my ears.
If only I could see you,
Hear you,
Draw you near
Again.
Sunday, January 15, 2006
Sonnet II
I don't so much like this one, I just wanted you to see that I can write with rhyme and form...haha. Enjoy!
The boquet you gave me was beautiful.
So full of life and blooming with joy.
Although that moment it seemed plentiful,
Time changes things and it will destroy.
The little seed grows to a tree
Full of beautiful flowers in the spring,
But in an instant it can no longer be
As it burns from the strike of a bolt of lightning.
And even the first beautiful flower
Though seeming grand as it peeks through the snow
Will some day approach its final hour
As it withers away and loses its glow.
So now, as tonight you lay down your head
Know that the boquet has dried, and is dead.
The boquet you gave me was beautiful.
So full of life and blooming with joy.
Although that moment it seemed plentiful,
Time changes things and it will destroy.
The little seed grows to a tree
Full of beautiful flowers in the spring,
But in an instant it can no longer be
As it burns from the strike of a bolt of lightning.
And even the first beautiful flower
Though seeming grand as it peeks through the snow
Will some day approach its final hour
As it withers away and loses its glow.
So now, as tonight you lay down your head
Know that the boquet has dried, and is dead.
Saturday, January 14, 2006
So lost.
So wow, I love this poem. It reflects my life and my battles so well with all the contradictions, yet it is totally coherent...good stuff. Enjoy!
So lost.
Nothing looks familiar,
Yet everything is the same.
I have been falling
In the same crevasses for years,
Never knowing where I am going,
But always finding my way back.
Falling rain.
The water washes my face
And the rock face below me.
Water, dirt, mud flows past my toes,
Over my feet it flows
I cannot see in this darkness,
But I hear a voice,
A new voice in my ear.
Or is it the same?
I have heard it once before,
Or maybe more.
How can I know what has been
When all that is will be again
Yet never come to pass.
Thus I follow the sound in my ear,
All the familiar boulders are washed away
By the surrounding rain.
Where am I going
When the world has dissolved
And solidity is only in a voice.
A single voice
That exists only in my dreams.
Yet my ears do not lie.
It is there,
I can see it
There in the sputtering
Spattering
Of water upon my flesh,
Upon this flesh
That has been mine,
That will be mine,
That never can be
Until the world ends.
Or this one at least.
Now another sound.
My head turns to engage,
My eyes look away,
I stray once again
And reach out a hand
To caress the sweet surface
Laid out before me.
The rock looks so solid,
But when I lean against it
Looking for support,
There is not anything there.
Where is this place I have entered?
The rain has stopped.
The sun shines bright.
I know this place.
Everything looks so beautiful from here,
But then again,
These rocks look familiar.
I realize
There is nothing new here
Except the despicable sun.
Oh what I would give
For just one drop of rain,
For just the sound of the drop,
For just the sight of it sputtering,
Spattering,
Upon love,
Upon life,
Upon us.
So lost.
Nothing looks familiar,
Yet everything is the same.
I have been falling
In the same crevasses for years,
Never knowing where I am going,
But always finding my way back.
Falling rain.
The water washes my face
And the rock face below me.
Water, dirt, mud flows past my toes,
Over my feet it flows
I cannot see in this darkness,
But I hear a voice,
A new voice in my ear.
Or is it the same?
I have heard it once before,
Or maybe more.
How can I know what has been
When all that is will be again
Yet never come to pass.
Thus I follow the sound in my ear,
All the familiar boulders are washed away
By the surrounding rain.
Where am I going
When the world has dissolved
And solidity is only in a voice.
A single voice
That exists only in my dreams.
Yet my ears do not lie.
It is there,
I can see it
There in the sputtering
Spattering
Of water upon my flesh,
Upon this flesh
That has been mine,
That will be mine,
That never can be
Until the world ends.
Or this one at least.
Now another sound.
My head turns to engage,
My eyes look away,
I stray once again
And reach out a hand
To caress the sweet surface
Laid out before me.
The rock looks so solid,
But when I lean against it
Looking for support,
There is not anything there.
Where is this place I have entered?
The rain has stopped.
The sun shines bright.
I know this place.
Everything looks so beautiful from here,
But then again,
These rocks look familiar.
I realize
There is nothing new here
Except the despicable sun.
Oh what I would give
For just one drop of rain,
For just the sound of the drop,
For just the sight of it sputtering,
Spattering,
Upon love,
Upon life,
Upon us.
Friday, January 13, 2006
Said the sun to the flower...
Well my best friend told me all of my poems were depressing. Also, my youth pastor (and I disagree wholeheartedly) said it isn't a poem unless it rhymes. Random fact: rhyming is a fairly modern english phenomenon. Anyway, I wrote a happy poem...but of course had to spite my friend and add the last two lines. I just laughed and told her not to read them. Haha...enjoy!
Said the sun to the flower
“How beautiful you are
I could shine on you for hours
Giving warmth from afar.”
Said the flower to the sun
“Your radiance is great
You are the only one
Who can shine on this grate.”
Said the sun in reply
“You’re more beautiful than I
When I view your dazzling color
My lungs release with a sigh.”
Then said the bloom
“You shine brighter than all
You warm every room
Within my heart’s walls.
“In this circle of loving
Forever we’ll lie
You shine bright upon me
And I’ll put color in your eye.”
But this love like all else in this world had to end
The sun’s heat scorched the flowers, its petals blowing off in the wind..
Said the sun to the flower
“How beautiful you are
I could shine on you for hours
Giving warmth from afar.”
Said the flower to the sun
“Your radiance is great
You are the only one
Who can shine on this grate.”
Said the sun in reply
“You’re more beautiful than I
When I view your dazzling color
My lungs release with a sigh.”
Then said the bloom
“You shine brighter than all
You warm every room
Within my heart’s walls.
“In this circle of loving
Forever we’ll lie
You shine bright upon me
And I’ll put color in your eye.”
But this love like all else in this world had to end
The sun’s heat scorched the flowers, its petals blowing off in the wind..
Thursday, January 12, 2006
Oh God, Oh God!
This is a forgotten love of mine...its a pretty powerful one for me...and I love how its Greek mythology meets Christianity. Haha. I hope you like it!
Oh God, Oh God! What have I done?
I am trying constantly to ascend from the Styx
But every time the light comes in view, I turn back.
I think I am almost out of this darkness
But all I want is to gaze upon the beauty of Euridice,
So I turn my eyes.
I look back to the accursed beauty that brought me down in the beginning,
And through all my efforts, it seems as if I must always fail.
Like I have eaten the seeds of that pomegranate,
The wicked fruits of the underworld
So that I may never return to the light again.
But no.
I know you can lift me up.
I see the cross before me, pulled upright by the Roman soldiers.
I see the blood pouring from this man’s feet, his back, his sides, his wrists.
I stare at his face and see a crown of thorns,
And from the point of one thorn I see a drop of blood.
I watch it trickle down this man’s face
And as it passes his eye, I notice he is looking at me.
His eyes are staring into mine,
And I see a tear fall from those eyes.
But this is not a tear from the pain.
No, I see reflected in this tear the love this man has for me.
He is not angry that I have nailed him to the cross.
He is not bitter that I flogged him till near death.
No.
His eyes are staring into mine with the purest love,
And the tears fill my eyes till they flow from the corners.
And as I watch this man, I cannot pull my eyes from his.
As the final breath escapes his lips
His head falls to his chest
And I, as if pushed by this action, fall to my knees.
Oh God, Oh God! What have I done?
I see my sins pouring from his body
And I know it was me who killed him.
Two thousand years later, I am the reason.
I am the murderer.
Dear Father, forgive me, for I know not what I have done.
Oh God, Oh God! What have I done?
I am trying constantly to ascend from the Styx
But every time the light comes in view, I turn back.
I think I am almost out of this darkness
But all I want is to gaze upon the beauty of Euridice,
So I turn my eyes.
I look back to the accursed beauty that brought me down in the beginning,
And through all my efforts, it seems as if I must always fail.
Like I have eaten the seeds of that pomegranate,
The wicked fruits of the underworld
So that I may never return to the light again.
But no.
I know you can lift me up.
I see the cross before me, pulled upright by the Roman soldiers.
I see the blood pouring from this man’s feet, his back, his sides, his wrists.
I stare at his face and see a crown of thorns,
And from the point of one thorn I see a drop of blood.
I watch it trickle down this man’s face
And as it passes his eye, I notice he is looking at me.
His eyes are staring into mine,
And I see a tear fall from those eyes.
But this is not a tear from the pain.
No, I see reflected in this tear the love this man has for me.
He is not angry that I have nailed him to the cross.
He is not bitter that I flogged him till near death.
No.
His eyes are staring into mine with the purest love,
And the tears fill my eyes till they flow from the corners.
And as I watch this man, I cannot pull my eyes from his.
As the final breath escapes his lips
His head falls to his chest
And I, as if pushed by this action, fall to my knees.
Oh God, Oh God! What have I done?
I see my sins pouring from his body
And I know it was me who killed him.
Two thousand years later, I am the reason.
I am the murderer.
Dear Father, forgive me, for I know not what I have done.
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
Listen...
This one is like a poem within the poem, having a not so hidden message written right in. It's one of those english classes would try to sit down and dissect, and probably fail, but thats ok, because poems are meant to be interpreted by the reader. Haha...enjoy!
Listen…
What is this place?
I wander aimlessly,
Helplessly lost in this unfamiliar place.
Death joins us once again,
I feel it all around me.
All that have been shall never be again
Except that day all exceeds itself,
When the mountains are low
And the valleys are high,
And my world is once more right side up.
This is my plea…
I have lost myself once again.
Show me where I must go.
Is this the end,
Or just another strange beginning?
Is there a difference anyway?
The river begins
At the end of hidden springs
And ends at the beginning
Of something greater.
If this is my end,
Is there something greater
Waiting just ahead?
I am lost…
My eyes have never seen this place before.
I know not where to go
If I even should at all.
For what if this is my final place
After all my searching
And I do not yet realize.
My body yearns for the end,
For that final step
And final rest
But my heart still screams for the unknown,
It still compels me onward
Toward pain,
Toward hope,
Toward uncertainty,
Toward peace.
I cannot do it on my own,
So I give it all away.
Show me the way.
Listen…
What is this place?
I wander aimlessly,
Helplessly lost in this unfamiliar place.
Death joins us once again,
I feel it all around me.
All that have been shall never be again
Except that day all exceeds itself,
When the mountains are low
And the valleys are high,
And my world is once more right side up.
This is my plea…
I have lost myself once again.
Show me where I must go.
Is this the end,
Or just another strange beginning?
Is there a difference anyway?
The river begins
At the end of hidden springs
And ends at the beginning
Of something greater.
If this is my end,
Is there something greater
Waiting just ahead?
I am lost…
My eyes have never seen this place before.
I know not where to go
If I even should at all.
For what if this is my final place
After all my searching
And I do not yet realize.
My body yearns for the end,
For that final step
And final rest
But my heart still screams for the unknown,
It still compels me onward
Toward pain,
Toward hope,
Toward uncertainty,
Toward peace.
I cannot do it on my own,
So I give it all away.
Show me the way.
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
Just Beyond the Horizon
This is one of the few I actually titled...it is also one of my favorites. I actually won some competitions with it! Never entered any other poems in competitions...but yeah...enjoy!
Born into darkness,
Suffering always haunting,
Always lingering, awaiting the next breath.
As lungs fill with air,
Searing pain runs free.
There is only the sunrise
To ease the Pain,
The vibrancy of the fairies
As they dance freely,
Joyfully, across the sparkling sea
Just beyond the horizon.
It seems that the day is drawing near
When those hills will no longer contain,
When the fields will no longer mock,
When the fairies will take him to their kingdom.
But the storm clouds have shrouded the sky.
The torrential rains have brought darkness across the land,
Washing away all hope, all joy,
All love.
The deafening thunder presses in on his ears
Crushing all hopes of freedom.
But the dream lives on
As a flash of lightning illuminates the sky
Silhouetting the dread hills
And reminding him what lies
Just beyond the horizon.
The barren trees of winter
Leave long shadows across the land.
A stone stands, so young, so vibrant,
Yet now its chill spreads
Like snow upon the ground,
The white blinding all who see.
Now they stand, stripped of all glory,
Lacking hope of future joy,
Falling, ever falling like the drifting snowflakes.
Yet through December’s cold
Came the revelation.
And as he lay there,
Blood seeping from his veins into his body,
The sun rose one final time
And with it, his spirit
To wander freely
Just beyond the horizon.
Born into darkness,
Suffering always haunting,
Always lingering, awaiting the next breath.
As lungs fill with air,
Searing pain runs free.
There is only the sunrise
To ease the Pain,
The vibrancy of the fairies
As they dance freely,
Joyfully, across the sparkling sea
Just beyond the horizon.
It seems that the day is drawing near
When those hills will no longer contain,
When the fields will no longer mock,
When the fairies will take him to their kingdom.
But the storm clouds have shrouded the sky.
The torrential rains have brought darkness across the land,
Washing away all hope, all joy,
All love.
The deafening thunder presses in on his ears
Crushing all hopes of freedom.
But the dream lives on
As a flash of lightning illuminates the sky
Silhouetting the dread hills
And reminding him what lies
Just beyond the horizon.
The barren trees of winter
Leave long shadows across the land.
A stone stands, so young, so vibrant,
Yet now its chill spreads
Like snow upon the ground,
The white blinding all who see.
Now they stand, stripped of all glory,
Lacking hope of future joy,
Falling, ever falling like the drifting snowflakes.
Yet through December’s cold
Came the revelation.
And as he lay there,
Blood seeping from his veins into his body,
The sun rose one final time
And with it, his spirit
To wander freely
Just beyond the horizon.
Monday, January 9, 2006
It all came in an instant...
Many many of my works are spiritual in nature. This is one of the few explicitly religious ones I have. I generally am very subtle with that in my poetry, but sometimes it just needs to be right out there. I don't remember any background for this one...enjoy!
It all came in an instant.
One small choice
Leading to a decision
That would change two lives forever.
I was unaware of what was to come
And it came right before me,
So I responded.
And the air was filled with the noises,
The crushing, screeching noises of the crash.
It all happened so fast,
But before I knew it
My body was heaped, motionless
On the ground.
Beside it, your battered body
Still living, but just barely hanging on.
It shouldn’t have been this bad.
If I had gone slower,
If I had focused more on control,
We wouldn’t have ended up like this.
If only I could rewind
And tell myself what I know now…
But what is the use in “if only’s.”
What is the use
Of focusing on a world not my own
When the present is unfolding right before me?
Or rather,
Has come to an end,
For my life is over,
And yours will continue
Without my presence.
At least in this body.
I will never leave you.
I will always be there for you
No matter what has happened.
And I pray
My short time with you
Has shown you a love
Greater than any man could show you.
I hope my life
And my love
Has been an overflow of that greater love.
I pray you have seen through me
The love God has shown me
And remember
He will always be there for you.
Remember this as you remember me,
For without Him,
We would not have met that day,
We would not have come together.
Without Him,
I would not be the one you loved,
The one who showed you how to love.
I will still be there for you
As He will be there.
I will never forsake you,
As long as you keep me in your life.
But do not let the pain of this take you over,
Rather, rememberwhat we once had
And use that again,
For though you may doubt it now,
Something greater is on its way.
It all came in an instant.
One small choice
Leading to a decision
That would change two lives forever.
I was unaware of what was to come
And it came right before me,
So I responded.
And the air was filled with the noises,
The crushing, screeching noises of the crash.
It all happened so fast,
But before I knew it
My body was heaped, motionless
On the ground.
Beside it, your battered body
Still living, but just barely hanging on.
It shouldn’t have been this bad.
If I had gone slower,
If I had focused more on control,
We wouldn’t have ended up like this.
If only I could rewind
And tell myself what I know now…
But what is the use in “if only’s.”
What is the use
Of focusing on a world not my own
When the present is unfolding right before me?
Or rather,
Has come to an end,
For my life is over,
And yours will continue
Without my presence.
At least in this body.
I will never leave you.
I will always be there for you
No matter what has happened.
And I pray
My short time with you
Has shown you a love
Greater than any man could show you.
I hope my life
And my love
Has been an overflow of that greater love.
I pray you have seen through me
The love God has shown me
And remember
He will always be there for you.
Remember this as you remember me,
For without Him,
We would not have met that day,
We would not have come together.
Without Him,
I would not be the one you loved,
The one who showed you how to love.
I will still be there for you
As He will be there.
I will never forsake you,
As long as you keep me in your life.
But do not let the pain of this take you over,
Rather, rememberwhat we once had
And use that again,
For though you may doubt it now,
Something greater is on its way.
Sunday, January 8, 2006
I stand in the middle of this field...
I don't think this really needs any explanation. You can see a bit of my love for the rain in it...enjoy!
I stand in the middle of this field
With down turned eyes,
Clenched fists,
Mind reeling as the clouds above me,
Swirling,
Thickening with every second.
The sky grows darker
As I feel the first drops of rain
Fall on my bared back,
The cool touch on my skin,
My shoulders,
My neck.
And I feel the searing sting
As it lights upon my bleeding wounds.
I close my eyes from the pain
And the rain grows stronger.
Now the downpour cleans my wounds.
I open my eyes
To see red run down my arms
And, palms outstretched,
Drip from my fingertips.
My blood washed away,
All my wounds have been healed.
Staring into the sky,
Rain falling on my face,
Arms held wide catching the rain,
The storm swells.
I lift my hands to the heavens
And a bolt of lightening
Dances through the darkness,
Illuminating the world around me.
A pause.
I lower my arms,
And as they fall
A peal of thunder rolls across the land.
I stand in the middle of this field
With down turned eyes,
Clenched fists,
Mind reeling as the clouds above me,
Swirling,
Thickening with every second.
The sky grows darker
As I feel the first drops of rain
Fall on my bared back,
The cool touch on my skin,
My shoulders,
My neck.
And I feel the searing sting
As it lights upon my bleeding wounds.
I close my eyes from the pain
And the rain grows stronger.
Now the downpour cleans my wounds.
I open my eyes
To see red run down my arms
And, palms outstretched,
Drip from my fingertips.
My blood washed away,
All my wounds have been healed.
Staring into the sky,
Rain falling on my face,
Arms held wide catching the rain,
The storm swells.
I lift my hands to the heavens
And a bolt of lightening
Dances through the darkness,
Illuminating the world around me.
A pause.
I lower my arms,
And as they fall
A peal of thunder rolls across the land.
Saturday, January 7, 2006
I remember you...
This is one of my favorites. I won't tell you anything about it, rather, I want you to tell me about it...so comment, text, call, whatever you like...enjoy!
I remember you,
And that gleam in your eye.
Those eyes
So deceitful.
I remember your kisses
In the rain;
The sweet touch of your lips
On my skin.
I remember how
You made my feelings flow
For all to see,
Yet I managed to hide them.
I managed to hide you.
You were my comfort,
My truth,
My disgrace.
Who could understand
The waltz of two lovers
Hidden in the night,
In the rain,
A forbidden love,
A despicable love.
Who could understand
The comfort you offered.
No matter how great,
No matter how terrible
You were there to help me feel
To feel for me.
We had to keep our love
A secret.
No one could accept us
And I felt shame.
Eventually your kisses
Turned to scars;
You caused me such pain,
Yet never hurt me.
You had captivated me
Body and mind.
I was enslaved
Until I ran away.
I freed myself from
Your hold on me.
But tonight feels like a night
To be reunited with old friends,
To forget past hurts
And delve into
A new beginning.
Your slender form
Calls me yet again.
Your lips reflect the light
Shining from the moon.
Your grey eyes glimmer
Once again,
Telling me to let you
Take me away again.
Yes,
Tonight feels like a night
To feel your touch again,
To embrace you,
Hold you close
Until you make me
Show what lies inside.
You are calling me,
Beckoning me
To return once again
To the comfort of the rain,
To the patter of water
Breaking through the trees,
Falling on dry leaves.
You are drawing me
Into the cloudy night,
Into this veil
Of darkness.
Not the stars,
Not even the moon
Can watch our bodies
Come together in
This forbidden waltz.
It will be our secret.
Can I resist?
Can I say no
To that bittersweet comfort?
You are there,
Waiting.
I long to hold you,
To feel the warmth
Of your embrace
Flow across my body,
To feel the passion
Running through my veins
Finally released.
Here I am
Once more in the rain,
You here by my side.
I feel your body
Pressed against my arm.
I feel the rain drops
Falling on my skin.
I feel you drawing near,
Wanting me to
Let the rain
Wash me away
As I give you
This one
Final
Kiss.
I remember you,
And that gleam in your eye.
Those eyes
So deceitful.
I remember your kisses
In the rain;
The sweet touch of your lips
On my skin.
I remember how
You made my feelings flow
For all to see,
Yet I managed to hide them.
I managed to hide you.
You were my comfort,
My truth,
My disgrace.
Who could understand
The waltz of two lovers
Hidden in the night,
In the rain,
A forbidden love,
A despicable love.
Who could understand
The comfort you offered.
No matter how great,
No matter how terrible
You were there to help me feel
To feel for me.
We had to keep our love
A secret.
No one could accept us
And I felt shame.
Eventually your kisses
Turned to scars;
You caused me such pain,
Yet never hurt me.
You had captivated me
Body and mind.
I was enslaved
Until I ran away.
I freed myself from
Your hold on me.
But tonight feels like a night
To be reunited with old friends,
To forget past hurts
And delve into
A new beginning.
Your slender form
Calls me yet again.
Your lips reflect the light
Shining from the moon.
Your grey eyes glimmer
Once again,
Telling me to let you
Take me away again.
Yes,
Tonight feels like a night
To feel your touch again,
To embrace you,
Hold you close
Until you make me
Show what lies inside.
You are calling me,
Beckoning me
To return once again
To the comfort of the rain,
To the patter of water
Breaking through the trees,
Falling on dry leaves.
You are drawing me
Into the cloudy night,
Into this veil
Of darkness.
Not the stars,
Not even the moon
Can watch our bodies
Come together in
This forbidden waltz.
It will be our secret.
Can I resist?
Can I say no
To that bittersweet comfort?
You are there,
Waiting.
I long to hold you,
To feel the warmth
Of your embrace
Flow across my body,
To feel the passion
Running through my veins
Finally released.
Here I am
Once more in the rain,
You here by my side.
I feel your body
Pressed against my arm.
I feel the rain drops
Falling on my skin.
I feel you drawing near,
Wanting me to
Let the rain
Wash me away
As I give you
This one
Final
Kiss.
Friday, January 6, 2006
Goodbyes
No date. I believe I wrote this one spur of a moment in an IM chat when the person I was talking to was gone for a long time before they were leaving...I do that sometimes. Randomly write poems in IM chats...enjoy!
Goodbyes are just a moment suspended in time
Where all true feelings pour out.
But these tears, this sorrow
Means nothing, for I will always be with you
And part of my heart will always hold the memories of you.
The beautiful curls of your hair
Framing your sweet face.
Those eyes, sparkling with passion
Sorrow, joy, anger.
And when I look into those eyes
Time freezes, all else dissolves away
And nothing else in the world matters.
If only I could hold you in my arms forever
Feeling your heart race, the rising and sinking
Of every breath, living in this moment
And no other.
I will never forget you.
Goodbyes are just a moment suspended in time
Where all true feelings pour out.
But these tears, this sorrow
Means nothing, for I will always be with you
And part of my heart will always hold the memories of you.
The beautiful curls of your hair
Framing your sweet face.
Those eyes, sparkling with passion
Sorrow, joy, anger.
And when I look into those eyes
Time freezes, all else dissolves away
And nothing else in the world matters.
If only I could hold you in my arms forever
Feeling your heart race, the rising and sinking
Of every breath, living in this moment
And no other.
I will never forget you.
Thursday, January 5, 2006
The ocean waters swirl...
Dont' really remember writing this one, but I think it had something to do with a friend...
The ocean waters swirl around
Chilling my skin.
You are there.
You float beside me
As multitudes pass by,
But take no notice
Of my hand upon your arm.
The siren’s song begins again
And my cries are lost
To their melody
And the sound of the waves
Crashing down upon me,
Beating, battering
Until I have nothing left.
I cry out again
Reach out one last time
But you are already out of reach.
I am gone,
Lost to the waves
Never to be rescued.
And so I remain still
As the waters become my solace,
Gently rocking me to sleep
As one final tear
Falls into the sea.
The ocean waters swirl around
Chilling my skin.
You are there.
You float beside me
As multitudes pass by,
But take no notice
Of my hand upon your arm.
The siren’s song begins again
And my cries are lost
To their melody
And the sound of the waves
Crashing down upon me,
Beating, battering
Until I have nothing left.
I cry out again
Reach out one last time
But you are already out of reach.
I am gone,
Lost to the waves
Never to be rescued.
And so I remain still
As the waters become my solace,
Gently rocking me to sleep
As one final tear
Falls into the sea.
Wednesday, January 4, 2006
Confusion
No Date. Simple, strange, but I like it for some reason. I think it depicts how I felt rather well...
Rain falling
Then thunder
No more rain
I must be happy
But I do not want to be
Crazy over nothing
Give it up
No more of this insanity
I couldn’t control it if I tried
Gone
I leave it
And peace
Joy
They come with the end
And a smile
Tuesday, January 3, 2006
A sonnet
This one is a lovely sonnet...I'll tell you what I actually wrote it about at the end...
Children amble weakly through the streets
Torn by the hunger of many days,
Longing desperately for something, anything to eat.
They search, but nothing comes their way.
Swollen stomachs tell the tale of the child.
Death prevails in her wretched world,
A place where refuse is excessively pile,
Where children in agony lay hungry and curled.
The hunger destroys some before the first breath,
The old and weak quickly crumble way,
Only the strong will escape death
In this village veiled with utter decay.
You can see the hunger in her eyes,
Give her something, anything, before she dies.
Yeah, I wrote it because someone ate all the leftover lasagna...you know I love my lasagna
Monday, January 2, 2006
As the day grows cold...
Another no date. I rather like this one though...
As the day grows cold,
They tell me the sun will rise
And warm up this wretched land.
As the day presses on,
I search the skies for this
Sun they speak of,
For any sign of warmth from the heavens.
As time goes by,
I know warmth will come.
I know what they say is true
For I have felt it once before.
I have seen this sun
And felt its warmth upon my skin.
But the day goes on,
And the snow is growing deeper.
There is light,
But it is only the moon,
Only a reflection of that
Which will truly warm me.
There is only a specter
Of what I truly long for.
I trudge through this bleak wasteland
Hoping beyond hope
That the sun will rise.
As the day grows cold,
I try to warm my hands,
My face,
My fingers are numb.
My eyes search frantically
Across the skies
For anything that will give me warmth.
They told me the sun will rise.
They told me this darkness will fade,
This cold will dissolve,
This pain will end.
They told me the sun will rise.
I pass the barren trees
Suppressed by this eternal winter.
Their branches have been bare
For many years now.
They told me the trees will bloom,
The peach blossoms will fill the branches
With their beautiful color,
The dogwood will shine in the sunlight
With pure white,
The air will be fragrant with the smell of roses.
They told me this beauty would come.
I venture on
Through this desolate wasteland,
Still searching for a hint of color
Or a spot of warmth.
I try to remember the last time
I felt the sun's rays upon my skin,
When these furs were not needed
To keep my body from freezing.
I try to envision the petals
Of the flowers covering the tree branches,
Or the animals running across fields of green.
An infant's screams enter these thoughts
And I open my eyes to the world around me.
Nothing but bare branches
Bearing the weight of winter
On their boughs.
No animals dare to brave the cold
To cross this vast expanse of white before me.
The mother of the child
Holds the baby close,
Shielding him from the harsh winds.
The world is harsh to these,
The weak and innocent
That cannot yet fend for themselves.
Their blood runs cold
Before their hearts can become strong,
Before their hearts become cold
Like this world around us.
Only the strong survive
In this world of grief.
As the day grows colder,
I try not to think of
The life that will soon be lost,
Of the tears that will soon be shed
And frozen
Before they hit the ground.
Grief does not last long
Where love cannot live.
They told me the sun would rise
As we climbed over the peak.
I see the horizon
Broken by the jagged peaks
And miles away
The darkness still prevails.
A lone voice says
You cannot have the sun,
You will not have the flowers.
I know this must be true
But I cannot let it be.
The edge looks inviting
But I will press on.
The cold could easily take me,
But I will search for the land
Where the sun shines
On the peach blossoms,
Where birds chirp
In the branches of the dogwood,
And where love sleeps
In the shade of a willow
Weeping over the river.
As the day grows cold,
They tell me the sun will rise
And warm up this wretched land.
As the day presses on,
I search the skies for this
Sun they speak of,
For any sign of warmth from the heavens.
As time goes by,
I know warmth will come.
I know what they say is true
For I have felt it once before.
I have seen this sun
And felt its warmth upon my skin.
But the day goes on,
And the snow is growing deeper.
There is light,
But it is only the moon,
Only a reflection of that
Which will truly warm me.
There is only a specter
Of what I truly long for.
I trudge through this bleak wasteland
Hoping beyond hope
That the sun will rise.
As the day grows cold,
I try to warm my hands,
My face,
My fingers are numb.
My eyes search frantically
Across the skies
For anything that will give me warmth.
They told me the sun will rise.
They told me this darkness will fade,
This cold will dissolve,
This pain will end.
They told me the sun will rise.
I pass the barren trees
Suppressed by this eternal winter.
Their branches have been bare
For many years now.
They told me the trees will bloom,
The peach blossoms will fill the branches
With their beautiful color,
The dogwood will shine in the sunlight
With pure white,
The air will be fragrant with the smell of roses.
They told me this beauty would come.
I venture on
Through this desolate wasteland,
Still searching for a hint of color
Or a spot of warmth.
I try to remember the last time
I felt the sun's rays upon my skin,
When these furs were not needed
To keep my body from freezing.
I try to envision the petals
Of the flowers covering the tree branches,
Or the animals running across fields of green.
An infant's screams enter these thoughts
And I open my eyes to the world around me.
Nothing but bare branches
Bearing the weight of winter
On their boughs.
No animals dare to brave the cold
To cross this vast expanse of white before me.
The mother of the child
Holds the baby close,
Shielding him from the harsh winds.
The world is harsh to these,
The weak and innocent
That cannot yet fend for themselves.
Their blood runs cold
Before their hearts can become strong,
Before their hearts become cold
Like this world around us.
Only the strong survive
In this world of grief.
As the day grows colder,
I try not to think of
The life that will soon be lost,
Of the tears that will soon be shed
And frozen
Before they hit the ground.
Grief does not last long
Where love cannot live.
They told me the sun would rise
As we climbed over the peak.
I see the horizon
Broken by the jagged peaks
And miles away
The darkness still prevails.
A lone voice says
You cannot have the sun,
You will not have the flowers.
I know this must be true
But I cannot let it be.
The edge looks inviting
But I will press on.
The cold could easily take me,
But I will search for the land
Where the sun shines
On the peach blossoms,
Where birds chirp
In the branches of the dogwood,
And where love sleeps
In the shade of a willow
Weeping over the river.
Sunday, January 1, 2006
and maybe this is wrong...
I don't actually know when I wrote this one, so I'm putting a random date. I know it is an earlier poem, so yeah...enjoy!
but this world is pressing down
and I can't take it anymore
I want to feel my blood pour
once again
but then again
I have a love
that is growing more and more
with every moment
that passes
that comes and goes
it stays
and so i say to you my friend
that even though I want the end
I see a beautiful beginning
shining through this shattered window
and a light from up above
calling out my name
so softly, sweetly
that I cannot fear
what is so near
and haunting.
oh the past is trying so completely
to tear my hopes away
and the future wants to take me down
and tie my body to the ground
and beat me
until I go limp.
but this moment shines out bright
if I could only see
through the shrouds i have wrapped
around my face
around my feet
so I can no longer step
in the right way
only stand here in the wrong
and disappear into the shadow
crawling steadily along.
oh how I wish I could move.
oh how I wish I could move
oh how I wish I could move
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